Fears / Relationship / relationship problems
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Relationship fear and troubles, such as a divorce or a broken relationship, are issues of the heart. In these cases, the heart prevails over intelligence. The unfortunate truth is that all relationships are temporary, no matter how deeply you are attached.
When your love exists within the constraints of time and space, what you believe to be love is actually a scenario arising from your conditioned mind. If you have any requirements in a relationship, then that relationship is not based on love, but on expectations.
This is why so many relationships are fraught with jealousy, disappointment, and betrayal and these are biggest relationship fears. No matter how reasonable and right you believe your conditions are, know that they will all change, for better or worse, eventually. It is only the day-to-day relationship built on self-sacrifice, respect, reverence, faith, and devotion, with no demand of reward or expectation of reciprocation that is a true reflection of love.
Take a look at your own relationships; do they measure up against this standard? Or are you wrapping the other person up in expectations and demands? If your relationship passes this comparison test, then you are the gem of humanity. There is no divorce in the future.
If you did not pass the test, then seriously examine the areas where you may have created a temporary arrangement by establishing conditions, expectations, or reciprocal demands. These days, all relationships start with expectations, hopes, and conditions.
The one thing these arrangements have in common is that they will all eventually fail (although some will stay in a relationship for financial, familial, or social reasons; a long -lasting relationship may not be an indication of love as much as it is a sign that the individuals involved have learned to live together and tolerate each other).
All broken relationships produce pain and suffering. Hurts of the heart are difficult to heal and may take a long time to mend. So what can you do to heal your heart and begin to practice true love in your relationships? First and foremost, you must stop trying to find fault with others. Have you ever heard of the saying, “An eye for an eye?”
When you are bursting with anger and the desire to get even with someone, it is a clear sign that your ego has taken over. Forget this tit-for-tat approach. You must let go of your anger and disappointment, which are solely comprised of negative energy. When you unleash your anger on others, like a boomerang; it comes back upon your head, hurting you further.
When you have the fears in the relationships remember the principles of resonance and reflection. For the sake of your own peace, do not dwell on the thoughts of the revenge. As we learned earlier, such negative energy can manifest in many other areas (health, finances, relationships, etc.) and cause you great heartache. If you take a moment to watch your ego, knowing that it is fueling your negative feelings, it will begin to dissolve under the weight of your awareness.
The next step is to forgive. If you have trouble forgiving, think about this: If you were in the other person’s shoes, with the same level of intelligence and mental functioning, the same life experiences, and the same level of consciousness, you would have acted exactly the same way.
With the proper concentration and a heartfelt approach, you will find that a feeling of compassion will arise toward this other person. It is from this state that you can truly let go of your negative feelings and forgive. You must also ask the other party for forgiveness, whether you consider yourself to be at fault or not. If you feel reluctant to do this, then that your ego is rising up again.
Remember that your goal here is not to judge who is at fault. By simply asking for forgiveness – even for faults or mistakes you may have attributed to the other person – you will often find that the other person will calm down as well.
This happens because you are sending out peaceful and compassionate energies that will resonate within the other person. And, just as with negative energy, this positive energy will attract like energy and bring it back to you. If you feel peace at the end of the exercise, you have succeeded.
-excerpts from book “Fearless Thinking, Stress-free Living, Guaranteed (Almost). A life-changing Revolutionary solution for peace and happiness.”