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Do you blame yourself for making wrong decisions in the past? Remember two things: (1) Everybody makes mistakes, and (2) to make a decision in the present and to make a judgment in hindsight are two very different things. It is easy to criticize a decision when you are under a new set of circumstances.
Changed circumstances, patterns, surroundings, etc., allow you to evaluate your decision from a new perspective. It doesn’t bode well for you to judge past decisions based on your current circumstances. This is a recipe for self-pity, which leads to depression and robs you of your natural abilities to think and act.
It throws you into an ocean of confusion that prevents you from dealing effectively with the situation at hand. It makes you lazy, angry with yourself, and others. To hide your depression, you can start blaming others and the external systems that you live within.
This train of thought also affects your work performance and closest relationships. It can create a wall between you and your colleagues, family, and friends. It is a strange irony that, at this time, when you need a stable mind, you lose that stability. When you find yourself falling into the clutches of depression, recognize the situation immediately.
Do not give time to depressing thoughts of self-pity. Be aware of your mental condition at all times. Feeling guilty for not making the right decision is like punishing an innocent person. There are many hidden causes behind an event to happen. Your past is only a small part of these occurrences.
The first step to freeing yourself from self-pity is to be aware of your condition. Self-pity or self-criticism robs you of your ability to change your circumstances. However, if you harbor no regrets, you will find you no longer have cause for stress. It is also very important that you remember that you and your actions are only a small part of any situation or event.
There are an infinite number of factors that came together to cause the situation. You played but a small part in causing the outcome, so blaming yourself for the whole thing, that was largely out of your control, is erroneous thinking. Similarly, blaming your troubles on the faults you find in others does nothing but cause you even more pain.
Everybody lives within the circle of own mind. When you are focused on finding a scapegoat, your mind is consumed with thoughts of blame. “Why did so-and-so do th
is?” “Why didn’t he explain?” “Why did she make this mistake?” These don’t help you at all. Even as you should not blame yourself, so should you refrain from blaming others. If you would not treat yourself like this, then neither is it right to treat others this way.